Playtime with Master Hand – Part I of III

Mario hit his head hard against the wall as he was flung wildly across the room. Dazed, he braced himself as he proceeded to crash land to the floor awkwardly on his right side. With his ankle smacking against the light fixture along the way too, the plumber now found himself in agony. But alas he wasn’t able to lay there to nurse his injuries in peace as the giant hand came rushing toward him, keen to keep play time moving.

Thus he once more found himself on the battlements of a grand castle and immediately the warrior Link was at him again, thrusting his sword back and forth in that peculiar motion only the Master Hand could create. He was being thrown from side to side, and smacked with the sword on all sorts of place on his body. Suddenly the hand launched him backwards with a force that made him turn green. With an involuntary wave of his arm and the added sound effects courtesy of the Master Hand, a magical fireball was seemingly thrown toward Link, who was knocked back by the supposed impact. Now hanging off the edge of the battlements, Mario was moved over to stand above him, ready to land the final blow. He was raised again, and the Hand slammed him down in a great stomping motion. Yet Mario again found himself thrown into the air, slamming into the ceiling, and falling to the floor this time awkwardly on his left side. He felt pummelled. Link had won again.

A very distant voice called out a name, and the Master Hand suddenly left the room, leaving the toys on their own. A tear rolled down Mario’s beaten face; he wouldn’t have to fight again today.

Link laughed as he climbed down from the castle. “You got to love that kid’s spirit, I mean every time he comes up with the best ways for me to win. Remember when they just conjured up a tornado to sweep you away! That was brilliant!” and he beamed with that self-assured grin that only the favourite toy could possibly possess. Mario hated that grin.

“I think I will just lay here awhile, you know, rest my broken bones, drift in and out of consciousness.” He stared feebly into the distance but could not help catch Link’s startling green tunic in the corner of his eye.

“We’re toys Mario, we don’t feel pain and we don’t get nauseous. Quit being a baby already,” and Link dragged the pathetic doll to his feet. Mario would not lift his head however, and began to slink back to the ground in defiance. Link rolled his eyes as the other came over to join them.

There were eight of them; all of which were toy versions of Master Hand’s favourite video games characters. Aside from Mario and Link, there was Donkey Kong, a great big ape wearing a tie who usually acted as Mario’s foe whenever Link was not involved in play. Samus, the only female of the group, was a space bounty hunter most often played with when Link needed a serious opponent in battle. Then there was Yoshi, a green dinosaur with a long tongue who the box stated was Mario’s companion yet somehow the Master Hand found more amusement in having Link ride it in play. Next up was Fox, a fox space-pilot who often took a back seat role in playtime. And finally there was Kirby and Pikachu, a pink round blob and a yellow, electric producing mouse respectively. They were generally the least played with toys and often only acted as training dummies for Link to face off against. It was clear to everybody Link was the favourite toy and all but Mario (who was convinced he was the butt of every game) accepted this fact.

Mario in fact hated playtime as Master Hand (which should be noted was the name they had given to their kid) he spent most it being  flung across the room without warning, or trodden on, or shaken about or pulled and tugged until his stitching began to fray. Yet the other toys never paid him any mind, they enjoyed playtime, even Kirby and Pikachu, only they didn’t envy Link who seemed to need just as much repair as Mario often did. Playtime could indeed be a bit rough but they all agreed that Mario was far too pathetic and Link was far too self-assured and this was often what stopped them all being entirely at ease with one another. As far as toys went they had a pretty good life, and at least their kid loved them all very much.

Yet their sanctity was to be spoiled, which none of the toys had foreseen, for it wasn’t a birthday or Christmas at all. For their kid’s mother worked far away a lot of the time, and would often return home unannounced with a whole slew of presents along with her. Whenever there were presents, new toys were bound to spring up…

Next: Part II

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