Kirby’s Dream Land – Fear and Loathing in Dream Land – Part I of III

We were already on our way to Dream Land when the hunger took over. Me, Lololo, Lalala, that Blimp Guy and what’s his face with the eye. The heavens shone with a serene brilliance, a warm glow that dared us to consume it all if we could stomach destroying such beauty. Unperturbed I continued floating on the air, innards bloated with the food we had gorged on thus far. There in Dream Land the real prize is waiting and we, my band of merry men and I, are to become one with all its splendour.

Packed in the carrier of Blimp Guy is all the prime sustenance a regular tripper to Dream Land could only… well dream about. 50oz Rump steaks we have 50, baskets brimming with Maxim Tomatoes, Mint Leaves are dressing the Pep Drinks next to a cauldron of Superspicy Curry and all this lies in a bed of candy in hundreds of different varieties. I currently run off 5 bags of Magic Food; every stretch of my elastic body pulsates through me like the clatter of gongs and the heavens from Mt. Dedede seem in tumultuous song over my bulbous form.

The others are appropriately high, Lololo and Lalala are obsessed with their treasure chests as if hands had never felt so soft a silk in all their existence, running their eyes over and over them believing a black mark continually eludes their notice. I drift over with my hammer and destroy the thing and they lash out at me violently. I throw Steak at them and the motions begin again only this time over the juicy meat in their arms. “You eat the damn things, eat them hmmm,” I rub my belly and smack my lips to give them a hint but the taste of smeared grease on them sends me into a rage and I dive into Blimp Guy’s basket and devour 5 handfuls of candy, many of which crumble into a sticky ball atop the fresh stuff. The eye is watching me as the high takes away the bad tastes and I fear it knows I have defiled our sacred stash and is readying to consume me. I leap towards it but it puffs out in clouds and I am sent tumbling to the ground. Fortunately we have arrived at Castle Lololo, our base of operations, if you will, within Dream Land.

Lololo arranged the rooms for us, spouting on about how difficult it had been for him, wiping the sweat from his brow as he recalls his woes. The damn idiot owns the place though and just wants our sympathy but right now I just want to smash him up. Him and that Lalala too just because one without the other is impossible and I need things to be possible right now otherwise I might go entirely mad. The Dream Landers are running from the area as all the food is being swept up by the Eye, the ever watchful eye that even now as it hovers over the grounds I feel is piercing through my mind and enlightening a part of me that feels disgusting to comprehend. I can’t have that thing watching me, ever watching me. If my hammer can’t solve this crisis then this whole expedition will be damned. I fly out of my window and drift along to where I believe the eye is now. I land and embrace the surface I have found. That’s right you cursed thing I shan’t smash you, but smother you, smother you with my expansive form and then only my gaze will judge those around here.

We float away to the next place, all the food in the world awaiting us as we drift ourselves into soothing numbness.

Next – Part II

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