I cannot recall how my consciousness has been invoked once more. I see my reflection in the puddles on the floor and the man I once was has been grotesquely transformed. I now exist as a swine. My humiliation must have been thorough. I do not know how long I have remained this way and I fear my life has been stretched thin. I am ethereal.
There appears to be two other beings with access to my prison, an elderly woman with full freedom to go back and forth, and a mystery figure who resides in the room beside my own. It must be my jailor, a figure I feel has control over my free will. Only my long standing enemies, the reigning family of Hyrule can be capable of such sorcery. Thus far I believe my return to consciousness has gone unbeknownst to the pair, I have endeavoured to remain a brutish, boorish swine in order to undermine their detection. Neither appears to be the individual who has alleviated my curse, though I cannot be certain. However I am told my freedom is imminent, only I cannot understand how they found me and how they plan to get us out of here.
Many weeks it has been now. I suddenly gained a sense of myself while eating slop and I was arrested against crying out by a tall, muscular figure disguised in shadow. They told me a saviour will come; a boy in green has the means to my freedom. I should use my time before then to prepare myself, but only whenever the dim light has ceased from beneath the door of the adjoining chamber. Only then can I be sure I’m not being watched. I do not know who this individual is, and I am no longer sure I wanted my consciousness returned, this place is hellish. I remain vigilant for my supposed saviour but the agony of this existence is taking its toll.
Alas, the chamber door has opened in the most dramatic fashion and here before me is the boy in green. Wielding a sword and shield he is prepared for battle. The chamber is suddenly flooded with light and he comes face to face with me. I feel my body is being manipulated, I say “Prepare to be destroyed by Ganon, the King of Chaos”, and I am no longer in charge of myself. A battle begins but the poor boy is unable to strike me for I disappear, only to strike at him from a distance. He swings his sword helplessly at me but I am too quick for him. Desperation has filled his features as he throws a whole arsenal of weapons my way, but to no avail. I cry out in agony from my contortionist.
Yet the puppeteer has felt my presence, laughter fills my head and for a moment I am stood frozen in place. A voice of ice penetrates every corner of my mind. “You cannot interfere, my dear Ganon, I am in control now. You’re strength of mind has grown these past few weeks, credit is due. Only you cannot escape your ultimate fate, and I have decided the time is now. The plot has been spoiled I’m afraid. You’re demise is imminent.” The boy has realised his opportunity, a bow has been produced holding a silver arrow poised to strike. “We’ve made quite a good game out of you this last century. But it is time for all hope to die. A new game begins today”. The arrow is shot and has pierced my heart. I topple over and feel my body decaying; the horrible beast I have become is deteriorating. My body returns to a human form only it is dying. I see the boy did not expect this. Human again for the final moments of my life, I see a century of imprisonment wrack my feeble form. With a last meagre cry I crash to the floor and see no more…
I don’t understand. The arrow, I thought it was supposed to free him I had only to make sure it would hit. That shopkeeper, the magic shield he had given me had an arrow attached to the inside. This was supposed to save Ganon. What have I done?! The chamber opposite opens and I have no choice but to enter. The Princess Zelda awaits me. I can’t believe I’ve finished the game. But I have let the people supposedly counting on me down. Wracked with confusion I present myself to the princess. My only consolation is I can save her from her imprisonment, only why does this room feel so cold?
It was a nice plan I’ll give the rebels that, distracting me to provide the boy with aid during ad breaks, saving him when I had been ready to allow him to die. The match has been thrilling. To think my own Impa would betray me, soon enough however she will be no concern of mine either. Now that I have allowed Ganon to die my power is without parallel. I had been enjoying this game; perhaps I’ll devise a new one for next season, if any rebels survive the next few days. As for the boy who has “saved” my life; there’s always round two to play. No need to replace the final boss though, I’m certain he won’t get that far.