Super Mario Bros. – Pride, Prejudice and Koopa Troopas – Part III of III

The following day Peach awoke ill rested and rather irritable. Bowser asked for her hand, of all the men she knew him. And yet how could he think to be successful in such a proposal. Her dislike for the man raged through her body and she only managed to keep her composure with Toadette, whose health had improved overnight. This brought comfort to her but the mortification she felt from the events of yesterday still weighed heavily on her mind, preventing her from sharing the event with her most trusted companion. Thus when Toadette asked her if she was in health she declared all she needed was some fresh air and proceeded to take a walk over the estate. She did not expect however to be brought face to face with Bowser again so soon, as she opened the front door to his visage. Her surprise afforded him a moment hand her a letter addressed to herself, bow curtly and then quickly disappear down the nearest pipe.

The letter detailed much. His concern of the match between Toadette and Lakitu he admitted was ill-conceived on his behalf. He had believed with her family’s monetary situation that she was being pressured to marry in order to attain wealth from the match and his cautiousness was only to prevent his friend falling to a similar fate that others of his acquaintance had. He apologised profusely for having supposed Toadette’s modesty were ingenuous affections and after the encounter of the morning before (which he assured her was a matter of the past) agreed the match was the most suitable of any he’d ever known. Peach sensed his sincerity but could not comprehend how he could come to such a rash conclusion after witnessing the intimacy between their close friends. Annoyed further, she endeavoured to continue.

As regards to the Mario Bros. he had this to say: “As for the more weighty accusation in regards to the two brothers, I do not know what I am accused of and yet I shall endeavour to tell you my family history with them in the hope my name shall be in part cleared of any ill associations. Their father had taken care of the World 8 estate and my father became a godfather to them both, the two being very pleasant, attentive young boys. Our father’s deaths however followed swiftly on from one another and, as their father could not support them fully, my father had stipulated that I would provide for them in a career of their choosing. Sadly they took the provisions I had to offer and spent them on idleness and diversions. However due to an incident involving a close friend of mine, I learnt their true nature and, once I had prevented Pauline from being tricked into marrying Mario, I cut all ties with the brothers who had depended on me and yet who spoke with such violent abuse against my character. I do not blame you this scorn of me however, for why you would think ill of the brothers? Detection could not be in your power, and suspicion certainly not in your inclination.”

Following this he wished her well and signed off the letter. Peach was stunned. She could not believe in the evils these brothers had supposedly committed. And yet the readiness Mario displayed in divulging his scorn of the man suddenly began to resonate within her. And certainly the career path they had chosen gave way to much more frivolity than hard, honest work. She sat on the castle steps and analysed her relationship with Mario to find any concrete proof that his character was not as she had believed it to be. She felt as if a mask had been cast over his face in her memory and while it unsettled her she could not decide entirely on either side of the story and sat in silent revelry for at least half an hour, re-reading the letter again and again finding more credibility and less irritation on every subsequent read through. However she was never meant to decide this matter for herself.

She suddenly found herself unable to see, the world around her whisked away by a hard duffel bag. All she did witness was the green cap of a man as he quickly removed her from World 5 towards she did not know where.

Now due to the excitement of the previous two days, Peach never sent her letter to her guardians explaining where she had gone to the prior morning. And while Toad had enough sense to recognise that his ward had gone to check on her sister, Toadsworth stormed the neighbourhood with the news that the Princess had gone missing. He related this news to anyone who could listen and was entirely at liberty to do so, as Toad had dismissed his whims and stowed away into the library. Thus when Toadsworth found Mario and pleaded with him to find Peach it was assured that it would be done. Always ones to glorify the quickest and least effortful means of attention, Mario and Luigi thought they could make themselves the heroes of the hour by strolling down to World 5 and most likely finding her there. It was when they saw Bowser hand Peach that letter when a plan really began to develop in Mario’s mind.

I wish this story could end in favour of the potential lovers, yet this is often not the case within our own lives either. Mario is still a hero to the people today; his act never being discovered after he dumped and proceeded to rescue the Princess from the World 8 castle. Bowser was declared an outright villain and banished from the Mushroom Kingdom along with all his known associates. Poor Toadette, heartbroken to lose her Lakitu, could not find a new suitor due to her close intimacy with a supposed criminal, much to the grief of Toadsworth and his nerves. Peach was thrust into the limelight as unwillingly as you can imagine. Cast as the damsel in distress she never managed to persuade the world who the real villains to this piece were. However fortunately while Bowser never truly kidnapped her, it was perceived he had done and would always do; the people of the Mushroom Kingdom choosing to believe in the most fantasised stories. Thus while Mario made a show about saving her the two gained an intimacy they never quite had before. While love could never blossom wholly due to the nature of their forced relations they were, I dare say, at their happiest when Bowser succumbed to his unwanted role and began to kidnap her for real.

Previous – Part II

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